FRESH TO DEATH
New York Giants – Manningham got a lot of love from the public the first 3 weeks (deservedly so considering the huge leap he has made in his second year). Now Steve Smith goes off for 11 rec, 134 yards and 2 touchdowns. And then there’s Hakeem Nicks catching the screen pass that he broke for a 54-yard touchdown, the first of his career. That’s just the receiver core. They’re that stacked all-around. Peter King called them the deepest team in the league. He’s right.
Baltimore Ravens – The ball just didn’t bounce the Ravens way. They might feel frustrated, but they shouldn’t feel discouraged. We think they’re still getting used to being this good/complete. We saw that Joe Flacco is for real on their last drive. If Mark Clayton makes that catch, Flacco would be the story of the week.
New England Patriots – Moss gets his first touchdown 4 games into the season??? That’s shocking. Better late than never. This team is getting better and will hit its stride when it counts.
New Orleans Saints – Gregg Williams has transformed this defense. The offense was always phenomenal. That’s not new. The blitzing is new. Darren Sharper being cut loose is new. The defense and Pierre Thomas (who went un-drafted out of Illinois) continue to demonstrate that Drew Brees will have help this season.
Indianapolis Colts – Peyton Manning is playing out of his mind. No one can touch him right now. How long can he keep this up? He could put the dagger in the DESPERATE Titans’ season next week.
WORD
Minnesota Vikings – If you had told Jared Allen before the game that he would sack Aaron Rodgers 4.5 times he probably would have said “you’re crazy” or “I need to come up with a better celebration dance.” Sidney Rice = Dark Horse MVP of this game. Some clutch catches and 2 AWESOME leaping recoveries on Green Bay’s onside kick attempts. There was someone else we noticed who played well but we forgot his name.
Pittsburgh Steelers – Aside from the late rally by the Chargers, this was the best we’ve seen the Steelers play. The O-line stepped up, which allowed Mendenhall to reincarnate their running game. Roethlisberger had a great game as well. In another system his career passing numbers might be awesome. And he’s down with DX (SUCK IT!).
New York Jets – The defense did a good job on Brees. They are still very legit. We all knew Sanchez telegraphs his passes. Saw it a couple times in preseason. At least he took the blame for the loss. Let’s see how he recovers next week for a Monday Night game against the rival Dolphins.
Philadelphia Eagles – The only team that really benefited from a week 4 bye.
San Diego Chargers – They should use next week’s bye to figure out whether or not they’re any good. The defense is terrible. The offense is inconsistent. Get back to me when you have a quality win. Denver in week 6 would be a nice statement, if the Patriots don’t make that statement first.
Green Bay Packers – Aaron Rodgers is sore. For a lot of reasons. That should have been a closer game. Maybe the Pack can meet the Chargers at some “are we good?” convention next weekend during the bye.
Chicago Bears – They looked good, sort of. Oh, hey Matt Forte! That’s so weird. We thought you left.
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN WORD AND AIGHT
San Francisco 49ers – They looked good against the Rams, but that’s not saying much. Big test coming next week against a rested Falcons team.
Atlanta Falcons – In 2001, the Atlanta Falcons had the 5th and 32nd picks in the draft. They traded those picks to the San Diego Chargers for the 1st overall pick and drafted Michael Vick. Who did the Chargers get with the 5th and 32nd? LaDainian Tomlinson and Drew Brees. That’s ill.
Denver Broncos – Defense looked great. This team is coming together. Now it’s really time to play some ball. Next 4 games: NE, @SD, @BAL, PITT. Brandon Marshall’s emotional reaction after his touchdown said it all. Whether or not they make any sort of run, this season is undeniably significant for the future of this franchise.
Jacksonville Jaguars – They’re still listening to us. Open it up some more, guys. The line is coming together, Garrard can create extra time with his legs, and some new weapons are emerging. Something may be happening here.
Cincinnati Bengals – How pissed was Ocho Cinco when that PAT was blocked? His touchdown should have been a game-winner. Carson Palmer demanding to go for it on 4th and 10 in overtime was a defining moment for his career. Take the tie there and kiss your aspirations for greatness goodbye.
Dallas Cowboys – There’s a difference between putting it up there for your receiver to go get it and asking your man to snatch an overthrown bullet out of the air. Guess which one Tony did more than once.
AIGHT
Arizona Cardinals – Do you think Kurt ever goes back to visit the grocery store where he worked? Does anyone know someone who bought groceries from Kurt Warner? Let’s get them on the podcast.
Houston Texans – Steve Slaton got his first rushing and receiving touchdowns of the season. Schaub and Andre were quieter than expected against the woeful Raiders. They didn’t need to do much.
Tennessee Titans – Ok, this next game is a must win. We’re serious this time. It’s funny that people are so reluctant to give up on them. Best 0-4 team in the league. This was the first time they actually played like their record though.
Seattle Seahawks – They should pick up Tim Hasselbeck.
Carolina Panthers – I hope someone introduced John Fox to DeAngelo Williams during their bye week.
Buffalo Bills – Didn’t we all have a hint of optimism about these guys after 2 games? This lackluster showing against the Dolphins was inexcusable. Dick Jauron’s seat is warming up so fast he was just seen at the pharmacy buying PreparationH.
Detroit Lions – Hung tight for a half before the Bears flexed some muscle. The Stafford/Kev Smith/Calvin trio should be a force in this league for years to come.
YOU’RE NOT GOOD
Washington Redskins – “Wins” of 16-13 over Tampa Bay and 9-7 over St. Louis are nothing to smile about. If they weren’t wearing Washington Redskin uniforms, everyone would think they were much worse…because they are.
Miami Dolphins – We’re still not impressed.
Oakland Raiders – We are officially removing the floor for JaMarcus Russell. There is no telling how awful this can get. Anything is possible.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers –
Kansas City Chiefs –
Cleveland Browns –
St. Louis Rams –
Let’s play a little game. We’re going to take these 4 horrible, winless franchises and combine them, taking the best players from each to see how it stacks up against the rest of the league.
QB Matt Cassell
RB Steven Jackson
WR Dwayne Bowe
WR Antonio Bryant
WR Donnie Avery
TE Kellen Winslow
OL Joe Thomas
OL Jason Smith
OL Brian Waters
DL Leonard Little
DL Gaines Adams
DL Shaun Rogers
LB Derrick Johnson
LB Barret Ruud
LB James Laurinitas
LB D’Qwell Jackson
DB Eric Wright
DB Aqib Talib
DB Oshiomogho Atogwe
Does this squad get anyone remotely excited? We get more chubbed from a strong wind. We’re thinking of an 11-letter word. Starts with ‘CON’. Ends with ‘TRACTION’.